Having no friends has always been an insecurity of mine. I have no female friends. My last friendship was 10 years ago. I made zero friends in college and never met anyone post-college. I never had a girl group to hang out with in my twenties. The personality I have is not a 20, it's more like a 10. I was myself but I also didn't speak up and let my overthinking and logic destroy me. After doing the work and stopping the victim-blaming game, I started to become myself and now I'm happily in love with myself.

I can't connect with people. As a weirdo, I have the best conversations with myself. People in real life are becoming more like passing experiences. They won't stay long-term in my life. As a 29-year-old woman, I see a pattern and people serve people for a few months and then it's over. I will never see these people again. It's just how life works. People you meet at work are just work people and you share payroll. Living my life and moving on immediately is fine with me.

In Canada, meeting new people is so difficult and painful. Since I live in a country that runs on immigration, making friends with non-westerners is not easy. I tried exploring friendship again, but I got ghosted by an immigrant woman. We shared a classroom for a short period of time, and then it was goodbye forever. I am not unhappy about it or feel like I lost anything. Relationships are difficult for someone like me who can't connect with me. After doing the work on myself, I would be a wonderful friend who could be there and likes to hang out in the city.

My life is not normal at all. I have never had a good paying job, lived in my own apartment, had a savings account, had a boyfriend who sees me as a future wife, funded lifestyle and had that friend group. As a result, I see myself as less than because I do not possess those things. I struggle every day to be an adult. I really want to be all these things, but I know it is not for me.

As you get older, you feel more comfortable with just being yourself. Female friendship is not a priority for me. I will not cry about it. I used to feel terrible about this situation but now I don't care. Meeting people has become less crucial for me to pursue. I won't let anything stop me from living my life. It's an untraditional value and the sense of who I am as a person keeps me living. I will continue to put myself out there but on my own terms.