How to Socialize for the introverts & extroverts 

Socializing is something people are designed to do but it's intimidating and scary at times. It can feel effortless for some and overwhelming for others. Being in a group setting, meeting people and letting them see the real you is not easy to negative. Improving your social skills with the right mindset and approach is the only way to survive them. 

Extroverts shine in the spotlight naturally and introverts look for low-energy ways to connect. As an introverted black woman, I often want to be alone in order to stay mentally healthy. Nowadays, social media and today's culture make it difficult to put yourself out there. Being rejected plays a role in wanting to isolate yourself. Socializing is important and this is inspiration to start socializing with new people or talking to the existing people in your life. 

Thrive in social settings

This guide includes tips, strategies, and examples 



1. Understanding Your Social Style


Before improving your social life, recognize whether you lean more toward introversion or extroversion (or somewhere in between).


Are You an Introvert?

• You enjoy deep, one-on-one conversations more than group settings.

• You may feel drained after long social interactions.

• You prefer meaningful connections over small talk.


Are You an Extrovert?

• You feel energized by social interactions.

• You enjoy meeting new people and thrive in groups.

• You’re comfortable with spontaneity in social situations.


Why This Matters:

• Introverts may benefit from structured plans, smaller gatherings, and quality over quantity.

• Extroverts may thrive in dynamic social scenes but need to balance socializing with meaningful connections.


2. How to Start Socializing More


Step 1: Shift Your Mindset

• Stop overthinking: Most people aren’t analyzing your every word or action.

• Be open to new experiences: Say “yes” more often to invitations.

• Social skills improve with practice: The more you do it, the easier it gets.


Step 2: Start Small & Gradually Expand

• Begin with familiar settings (friends, coworkers, family).

• Try low-pressure interactions like chatting with a barista or cashier.

• Move on to bigger social settings like group hangouts or networking events.


Step 3: Use the Right Conversation Starters

• General: “What have you been up to lately?”

• Situational: “This place has great music! Have you been here before?”

• Compliments: “I love your jacket! Where did you get it?”


3. Socializing for Different Situations


A. One-on-One Conversations (Great for Introverts)

• Do: Ask open-ended questions (“What’s something exciting in your life right now?”).

• Don’t: Give one-word responses or only talk about yourself.

• Hack: Listen actively and mirror their energy.


B. Group Settings (Great for Extroverts)

• Do: Include others in the conversation (“What do you think, [Name]?”).

• Don’t: Dominate the discussion or talk over people.

• Hack: Engage in side conversations if large groups feel overwhelming.


C. Networking & Meeting New People

• Do: Prepare a simple introduction (“Hi, I’m [Name], I work in [Industry]”).

• Don’t: Jump straight into business—build a personal connection first.

• Hack: Have a few go-to questions like “How did you get into this field?”


D. Online & Social Media Interactions

• Do: Engage in meaningful conversations in DMs or comments.

• Don’t: Just “like” posts without interaction.

• Hack: Join online communities related to your interests.


4. How to Overcome Social Anxiety & Awkwardness


Even confident people feel socially awkward sometimes. Here’s how to handle it:


Common Fears & Fixes

1. Fear of Rejection → Remind yourself: not everyone will connect, and that’s okay.

2. Worried About Awkward Silence → Have backup topics ready (hobbies, recent shows, current events).

3. Feeling Out of Place → Find a role (help host, bring a game, introduce people).


Hacks to Feel More Comfortable

• Smile & maintain open body language (don’t cross your arms).

• Repeat their name in conversation to build rapport.

• Mirror their speaking pace & tone for better connection.


5. Socializing Plans & Challenges


A. Introvert-Friendly Socializing Plan

• Week 1: Message an old friend or acquaintance.

• Week 2: Have a short one-on-one coffee chat.

• Week 3: Attend a small gathering or hobby-based event.

• Week 4: Try a group activity (like a book club or casual meetup).


B. Extrovert Social Challenge

• Week 1: Introduce yourself to one new person every day.

• Week 2: Host a casual get-together or invite someone out.

• Week 3: Attend a networking event or group outing.

• Week 4: Focus on deepening at least 3 friendships.


6. Dos & Don’ts of Socializing


✔️ Do:


✅ Ask follow-up questions to show interest.

✅ Share personal stories to make conversations engaging.

✅ Find common ground (hobbies, travel, music, etc.).

✅ Be inclusive—invite quieter people into conversations.


❌ Don’t:


❌ Monopolize the conversation—balance talking & listening.

❌ Over-apologize for being “awkward” (own your presence).

❌ Force friendships—some connections won’t click, and that’s okay.

❌ Fake interests just to fit in—be authentic.


7. Socializing Ideas & Ways to Meet People


Here are fun, low-pressure ways to connect with others:


For Introverts:

• Join a hobby-based club (book club, art class, writing group).

• Take a low-key group class (cooking, yoga, pottery).

• Engage in one-on-one meetups or coffee chats.


For Extroverts:

• Attend social events, mixers, or networking nights.

• Host a casual game night or dinner party.

• Volunteer or join local community events.


For Everyone:

• Try co-working spaces for casual interactions.

• Go on a group trip or retreat.

• Connect with friends of friends at gatherings.


Final Thoughts


Socializing is a skill that improves with time and effort. Whether you’re an introvert who enjoys meaningful one-on-one conversations or an extrovert who thrives in big groups, the key is finding social situations that align with your energy and interests.